just thinking..

had a slpover with mar and ly that day after clubbing, it was fun, htht-ing into the wee hours of the morning(: wad we talked abt made me think abt some things.. the future we're looking at is currently blurry, nth is confirmed. we hope that things will turn out the way we want, but there's always the fear of the possibility that things will not go our way. there's no preventing it i guess. for me, it's ldr. whenever i'm with him, it always feels like i do not need to worry at all, as though everything will definitely turn out fine. but it has been proven that that is not the case, this ldr needs to be maintained and probly will be more tiring than a 24/7 relationship. he has been so busy recently, i only get to see him like once or twice a week, but it was always quality time, so not too bad. but it's just that when he's not by my side, i'll tend to feel like he's not there at all. like when i sms, he always either not reply or take super long to reply. i'm really scared that if he goes back, and i get used to him not being there, i'll stop trying to maintain the relationship>< and then i also dun like to call cos sometimes i feel like we dun really have much to talk abt>< this is wad i'm most afraid of, cos next time we can only skype and talk, wad if there's really nth to talk abt?? so most of the time, i let him call, at least i know he'll be free to talk to me, and i dun have to worry much abt if there's anything to talk abt:/ sigh.. i really wanna talk to him, how we're gonna maintain this ldr, but he's always so busy and after his event, there's so little time to spend tgt.. i hope we can work sth out and not leave it hanging such that i dunno wad t do when he goes back): i really hope things work out, dun think i can take another blow:(